I’m feeling particularly frustrated with the world lately. I recently had an encounter with a ghost. Her attempt at reconciliation was full of blame and self appointed honor. When we lose touch with people that’s one thing, but when we actively seek the end of a relationship with someone so purposefully, their reappearance can shake your convictions.
Times like these tend to expose. They show us our own weaknesses and strengths simultaneously. They guide us down a path full of memories, sometimes painful, to show us the way to our future. Along that road I’ve found many snakes hiding in the bushes. If you listen closely you can hear them hiss. Beyond their slithering, the cold dark stare leaves you with your own reflection in their gaze. It’s what you make of it that provides you safe passage home.
I know myself today better than I ever have. That’s supposed to bring me comfort, but all it has done is shown me that the conventional path is not mine. I’m tired of working so hard to get the bare minimum in return. I need a break. I need to flourish. I need some air to breath.
Feliz cumpleaños a mi hermana the beautiful @lala_lynsey of @breadxbutta ✨ Let me tell you why she is so special to me.
In 2017 I was battling an undiagnosed chronic illness that was eating my cartilage and soft tissue all over my body. I had extremely disordered eating (something I’m still working on) because well meaning people kept telling me “eat some x and you’ll feel better.” I tried EVERYTHING and it turns out I was allergic to most things that are socially thought of as healthy. They aren’t. They just make SOME people skinny and as a society we see weight loss as health. It’s not.
I got really tired of having people recommend stuff to me. If you’re not a doctor who is an expert in my disease, you frankly have no right to make recommendations because you are almost guaranteed to make it worse. But then came Lynsey.
Lynsey was an amazing resource to find. She NEVER claimed that she could “heal me.” Her traditional medicines are made with so much love and care, but she also understands that it works in conjunction with modern medicine. When I first went to see her she knew it was trial + error for me. Her products help boost my immune system and reduce inflammation and sometimes pain. Even after several years of taking @breadxbutta products Lynsey still asks me, “how did that work for you?” She doesn’t push me to try something that I know won’t work AND she’s even offered to make me or give me stuff special when I’m not doing so good.
More than her products, Lynsey is one of the best, community oriented, love driven humans I know. I used to leave her events saying “one day I’m gonna be friends with her, IDC if I have to sweep the floors at bxb.” This woman’s energy is so kind and pure I would do anything for her.
If you know me IRL, I’ve already tried to sell you on @breadxbutta because I truly believe in what she and @adamdonegan are doing (btw they win best couple of the decade). Those of us in NYC are so lucky to have access to them and Haus of Bread so y’all better recognize how special she is and get your asses over there! Thanks for giving me hope 💗 📸 @davefotogram
Here’s me at the @breadxbutta Haus of Bread opening ceremony. Until further notice, I will be avoid all networking events, in person consultations, slumber parties, and shopping sprees.
People talk about having anxiety with this virus right now, but I want to stress how some folks have literal life and death anxiety disorders and massive decisions to make. Also, in extreme scenarios like this I tend to resort to obsessive compulsions, like needing to check my heart rate or I feel so much anxiety that I think I will die. Mental illness makes mass hysteria a whole other game as we constantly waiver between “am I too worried” and “I’m not doing enough to stay safe.” Please do not text me to tell me how scared you are because you are adding to my stress in ways you cannot understand.
I am on an immune suppressing medication called Humira. It’s life saving but also very scary because my immune system is already weak from my Ankylosing Spondylitis. I will be self quarantining for as long as I can because frankly, if the virus doesn’t kill me, my anxiety might.
A word to the able bodied, please stop hoarding resources. People like me, NOT JUST THE OLD AND “SICK,” need those resources to survive things like the common cold and the flu as well as the corona virus. You have a 95% (last statistic I saw so plz fact check before you share this) chance of surviving the virus if you get sick and have no preexisting conditions. Please save the supplies for those of us who do not have that luxury.
There are tons of posts on how you can be a better ally and keep yourself safe so I won’t be sharing that info. Please don’t be offended if I don’t invite you over or come thru to you and if you do enter my house, I will like make you change clothes or spray you down, idk yet! Just please stay home and keep yourself the least exposed as possible. And that’s on autoimmune diseases being a disability. 📸 @davefotogram